As a psychotherapist specializing in helping people overcome procrastination, I have observed that procrastination takes many forms. Some people procrastinate at home and not at work, others procrastinate about taking care of themselves but are prompt about meeting the needs of others. One of the most common aspects of procrastination is being late.
I am someone who prides herself on being on time. In fact, I usually have to be early. When I met my husband he was frequently late. Through the years he has attended my Overcoming Procrastination workshops and worked on this bad habit. Now, he is usually on time, just! I am grateful for that even though watching him start to shave when there are only ten minutes to launch still causes me anxiety.
When I was growing up, my best friend was always late. We did everything together and went everywhere together from the age of twelve. I lived in New York City where it was easy to get around on the subway. My friend, I‘ll call her Ellie, lived one subway stop uptown from me, and most of the time we were going downtown to shop or go to a movie so I had to wait for her. Ellie could be as much as one hour late and often was. (I am not exaggerating). Year after year I stood on that station. In Winter I froze, waiting as train after train came and went. I often paced up and down, sometimes quietly cursing her, sometimes feeling desperate and wanting to cry.
People who procrastinate don’t really understand the anguish others who are on the receiving end of their behavior go through. I put up with her lateness for many years. Then in our Senior year of high school I decided that I had had enough. I put my foot down and allowed her to take the consequences of her actions. If she was more than 10 minutes late I just went to our destination and met her there. I made sure that she had her own theater ticket when we went to a show and was happily in my seat when the overture started with or without her. From then on her procrastination was her problem.
Many years have passed since my girlhood. Ellie and I are still in touch, although we live thousands of miles apart. A while back I emailed her to ask if she is still late. I was pleasantly surprised at her reply. She is now a person who prides herself on being on time because somewhere along the line she finally realized how her behavior affected others. But her Karma caught up with her because she married a man who tends to be late. Now she knows what I felt like all those years ago.
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