Depression

Most of us have heard the old saying, “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” This sounds cute, but how many of us really do it? Most of the time when something happens in my life that sucks, I complain and feel miserable. I used to let the list of injustices or terrible experiences build up and feel like a martyr. Although this sometimes got me some attention and pity, it was not really worth the pain it caused me. Life threw me lemons and I let them rot.

I started to learn how to make lemonade right after I was divorced. I had been out of the dating scene for many years and was quite nervous about being single again. I began to meet men and had some unpleasant experiences. After one brief but dreadful relationship ended, I was depressed. Was there any way that I could avoid having this happen again?

It was time to make lemonade. I wrote myself a directive about dating that said, “There is no right or wrong. There is only what happens and what I learn from it. What have I just learned?” I have used that formula ever since, whenever I have had an awful experience. Sometimes I write down what I have learned as soon as I learn it. Other times I don’t realize until later that I have accumulated too many lemons and need to get to work.

When I recovered from a month long bout with excruciating sciatica that laid me low, I had been writing a book and enjoyed sitting at the computer for long periods of time, but I was in so much pain that I couldn’t sit at my computer for more than a few minutes. I couldn’t drive or do much walking either. I had trouble sitting during counseling sessions without an ice pack. I was so miserable that I forgot to practice what I preach.

Every morning while I walk on my treadmill I do centering activities, release stress, resolve conflicts and focus on positive affirmations. However, since I couldn’t exercise, I wasn’t performing my morning ritual. Consequently, I wasn’t dealing with my life issues. Fortunately, when I went to see my acupuncturist for treatment, she could tell that I was holding a lot of anger. Right there and then she made me tap on some specific energy points to release anger. Wow! I got in touch with my rage toward my body for having sciatica lay me low, my fear of being helpless, my anger with my perfectionist self for not finishing my book according to the schedule I had set for myself, and much more. I had many lemons to squeeze to release all the stress I had accumulated.

Each time I get sick it triggers scary feelings about being powerless. This event of terrible pain forced me to look at my reaction. I realized that instead of sulking about how unfair it was, I was being offered the opportunity to examine the idea of letting go of my ego’s need to perform and experience just being in the now free of expectations. Sciatica forced me to surrender. I had no option. I had to lie there, face my fears and transform them. It turned out to be an intensely spiritual experience. Now that I look back on the experience, I can say that sciatica served a purpose in my life.

Plato said that the unexamined life is not worth living. I first read that advice in college and took it as my motto, although at times I have just given it lip service. It is another way of reminding us to keep making lemonade by learning to see each unfortunate event in our lives as an opportunity.

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