happiness

As you read this, another election will have come and gone. It has been a time of high emotion and nasty behavior. Most of the political arguments I listened to rarely provided any facts to back up the rhetoric. They just served to inflame us.

I recently read a wonderful blog by Dr. Mary Klein, noted sex therapist writing about how the lack of scientific facts leads us to act in ways that create personal and cultural problems. He compared our lack of information about sex with our lack of information about our government and laws when he said,

“Americans argue about what we “believe,” abetted by organized religion, an Oprah-ized, feel-good psychology of entitlement, and “news” shows that ask viewers what they think. In grownup countries, that’s called gossip.”

In other words, we tell ourselves that what we think, rather than what we know, is the truth… so don’t ask us to supply data! We really don’t want to examine the facts so we rely on the people and infotainment on TV and the Internet that captures our imagination and lulls us into fantasy.

During these difficult times I keep remembering something an ancient Greek philosopher said over 2,000 years ago. “The unexamined life is not worth living.” After spending over thirty years counseling people I have realized that we live in a society that doesn’t encourage us to look closely at our society or prize self-examination. This leads to great unhappiness, depression and violence.

My goal is to help people examine their “unexamined lives” in order to change. In childhood, the commands we received from authority figures shaped us. If you were told to be good, what did that mean? In John’s family it means to act in ways that make Dad proud. John needs to be strong, not show his feelings, make lots of money, and freely criticize his spouse. For Jane it means not standing out, helping others rather than get her needs met, and making sure that her children don’t embarrass her in front of others.

Who is in charge of your life? When we harm ourselves trying to live up to other people’s expectations we often experience anxiety, anger, depression and loneliness. Using Energy Psychology techniques to explore these emotions and situations allows us to rapidly get in touch with our authentic loving self. We can get out of the prison of discontent we have been in for years, even though the door isn’t locked. And never has been.

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