For the last few weeks I have had relationships on my mind for a number of reasons. First, I have finally decided to finish the eBook I have had on the back burner. I call it “Grown Up Love”. I was inspired many years ago when I heard a psychiatrist say: “A ‘having it all’ relationship is a relationship between two grown ups who have done their own work and in which the head, the heart and the genitals are lined up.”
Ever since then I have been writing short essays about how to learn from dysfunctional relationship experiences and how to find the love you want as a “Grown Up” with another “Grown Up”. Of course each of my essays will include ways to use EFT or the Phoenix Effect Process to eliminate negative beliefs, emotions or memories that keep you from achieving long term happiness.
As I was looking through my website I came across a streaming audio of a radio show called “Stay Happily Married” that I appeared on a while back. On that show I discussed how to live with a procrastinating spouse. My own experience with this led to writing EFT for Procrastination. In addition, there are numerous other articles about relationships on my website, some of which are being expanded on in my soon-to-be eBook.
Many years ago I attended a workshop titled “Quarreling” in which I learned that most committed couples fight the same 3-4 quarrels for the duration of their relationship. Sure enough, a few weeks ago my spouse and I got into a very upsetting quarrel that seems to be an over-and-over in our marriage. I insisted that we use the Phoenix Effect Process to deal with this painful event since I believe in practicing what I preach. Although we both felt very angry and unhappy, we went through the simple imagery steps and eliminated every negative and hateful feeling in about twenty minutes. Afterward we hugged and kissed without a trace of resentment or negativity.
The more that I use the Phoenix Effect Process in my own life and help others use it or learn how to do it, the more excited I become about the effectiveness of energy psychology techniques. I look forward to sharing this at the Canadian Energy Conference in Toronto this Fall.